23 March 2006

I think I'm having some sort of unfortunate low-grade quarter-life crisis at the moment. Before you start making some sort of comment about my being too old for one of those, I must remind everyone that my great grandmother lived to be 104 years old, and if she could subsist that long on cheese and beer, so can I. I'm currently 25, so really, I shouldn't have my quarter-life crisis until next year. Besides, think of all of those men who have mid-life crises in their mid-5os. Do we honestly think these type-A personalities will last another 50+ years? Doubt it. Perhaps, however, this crisis is really just an amalgamation of "stressors" that are working to "stress me." For the record, I don't get stressed. That's a waste of everyone's energy. But let's examine the current situation.
#1. I need an apartment. Living in a college town means finding a new apartment for August in February. It's nearly April. I don't have a roommate lined up. I don't have money. I need a cat, too, which makes everything else so complicated. If only I could win Powerball, put my education temporarily on hold, travel the world until I get sick of visiting new and exciting places (seems unlikely), and buy a house or condo in which I could live comfortably, complete with a tremendous kitchen.
#2. I need money for school. I find it ridiculous that the University of Iowa doesn't want to give me free money anymore. After four undergrad years of worrying about nothing related to fiduciary statements, I realize now that I'm screwed. I have to pay for tuition, an apartment (which I don't have as of the end of July), my car payment, and my outrageous grocery bills. Loans? How? How much? Good idea/bad idea? Robbing a bank? Which one? What time of day is more likely for success? All of these ideas are very time consuming.
#3. I need to go sky diving. All right, that's not true. I don't need to do that, and frankly, I'm not sure that I'd want to. Wait, sure I would. If the Amazing Race has taught me anything, it's that I should go on the Amazing Race. Who doesn't want to rappel down a 400-foot office building in São Paulo, Brazil? Who doesn't want to jetset to Moscow and jump off the high dive into the water on a brisk February day only to end up in Munich 24 hours later? Who doesn't want to give me a million dollars? So, I'd settle for sky diving. Or, for more relaxation, a hot air balloon ride. I've never done that, and that's something I've always wanted to do.
#4. I have a receding hair line. It's not as bad as some of my old friends' and roommates', but it's a source of regular paranoia.
As you can see, I have a crisis on my hands. Now, to do what I do everyday. Make lunch, have a beer or a glass of wine with said lunch, and do next to nothing.