07 May 2003

Life is simultaneously ridiculously simple and overly complex. Throughout the past two and half weeks or so, I've struggled mightily to pull myself out of the vortex of hell I've created for myself, which resulted from bizarre timing, natural crossroads, and devilish neuroticism. Things that should cheer me up have paradoxically spun me deeper and deeper into darkness, spawning a habit of late night walks of necessity, traipsing through the neighborhood streets in search of something that can be found only within.

I fully expect that I will awaken some day soon to the relative happiness that used to accompany me on my days, but until then, I'm taking full advantage of thinking. I've made some fantastic decisions, and, with a little help from those who know me well (and that's not many), I will abide by these decisions. Courage to face my thoughts and act in a manner I know to be necessarily appropriate is next in importance. If all of this sounds a bit on the bleak side, fear not. I have not lost my mind, and I'm not trying desperately to get out of this room.

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