Someday, I would like to be as worthless as an HR Generalist. The following list contains the titles of ever-so-important information that our HR Generalist has posted on our company's intranet.
#1. What's the Buzz about Breakfast?!
#2. Predict Consequences of Your Actions to Live Wisely and Well
#3. Septemeber is National Fruits and Vegetables Month!
#4. Planning Your Vacation?*
*actually, this was the most devious of all, it was actually about retirement.

When she's not informing us about the perils of skipping breakfast or the breakdown of what actually counts as a serving of mustard greens, our HR Generalist finds time to send out emails with subject lines like the following.

#1. Reminder: The Massage Therapist Comes the First Wednesday of Every Month
#2. Make Your Desk Ergonomically Right.
#3. I have a pointless life with a husband that hates me and children that are little demons. *
*OK, that wasn't actually a subject of one of the emails, but I'm pretty sure it's the case.
#4. Clarification on Back, Neck, and Spine Memo
#5. Food on the Coffee Bar...Help Yourself

Perhaps I'm being a bit on the harsh side, but really, what education is required for this job that pays so much more than mine? Apparently, my ignorance of HR is shocking; I cannot tell you the difference between the HR Generalist and HR Specialist except that the Specialist has an office and the Generalist has a dank cubicle. I feel that no matter how little I accomplish during the week, I should have some good job security.