Before the dust settles into the suffocating reality that George W. Bush has been elected (somewhat legitimatey) President, I must take the time to comment on a few of the Election Day 2004 surprises. Or rather, rail against one surprise: moral values.

All of you who believe that moral values is the single most important issue of the 2004 Presidential campaign need to think of a few things, which I will list now.

#1. Isn't "honesty" a moral value? George W. Bush LIED repeated to the world about Iraq. He lied to Americans about "compassionate conservatism." He lied about being against nation building in 2000. He LIED. And his lies have cost what you all claim to be so dear: human life. Forget the fact that more innocent people have died in Iraq (which had NO CONNECTIONS to the September 11 terrorist attacks) than died in at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Doesn't that mean anything to you, you ridiculous, anti-intellectual, anti-science morons?

#2. All of you "moralists," please take your children out of our public schools and home-school them. Your tax money is corrupting children who learn about science in the classrooms. Heaven forbid that they go on to "cure diseases" someday (of course, that would be God's doing, not any thanks to science). Heaven forbid that we use the possibilities of sciences to help protect that whole human life thing.

#3. The Bible is not literal. Get over it.

#4. GOD doesn't want someone who EXECUTES RETARDED PEOPLE to be in charge of anything, you idiots.

#5. Constitutional amendment banning divorce...I'd have to support it. If you can't let gay people be happy, I think you can afford to be miserable.


All of this has really gotten to me. While I would love to bail to Canada like I've promised to do since 2000 (when I actually had a chance of getting a job), I might just stay around and watch the country to go hell under the control of you ideologues. Bite me.