Farmer, farmer, put away your DDT. I don't care about spots on my apples, leave me the birds and the bees, please.

An open letter to the citizens of Pleasantville,
Please stop buying SUVs. They're everywhere. It's disgusting. I may have grown up in the ridiculousness of suburbia, but trust me, the books aren't blank. Haven't you read the Lorax? Think of the Swomee-swans, when you fill up your tanks to get 13 miles per gallon. They can't sing a note--no one can sing who has smog in his throat. I know that I drive a lot. I don't deny being part of the problem, but I do get at least 2 times better gas mileage than you do. Think of that.