Drunken weekend. Illicit behavior. Stories ending with "Dude, she wants you to stick it in her." Oh, Iowa City. In other news, I have reapplied for admission to the University of Iowa College of Liberal Arts and Sciences so I can apply to be admitted to the teacher education program. Oh Captain, my Captain.

Throughout the last few weeks and months, my employment situation has been steady, which is the sole bright spot surrounding an otherwise bleak job. Within the previous week, in particular the last couple of days, I have plodded through an existential meltdown, prompting me to create a new feature at my desk, which I've titled "Today's Existential Dilemma." I'll give you the rundown of the previous three days' dilemmas.
Wednesday: In the interest of being a team player, wearing a shirt that I *know* was purchased at Wal-Mart.
Thursday: Enforcing rules I believe to make no sense.
Friday: Being quasi-obligated to accept cultural relativism vis-a-vis temporal relativism.

In regard to my most recent existential dilemma, I thank American piety and hypocrisy, and polarity. Perhaps I should qualify this dilemma as one that springs from the controversy surrounding the Terri Schiavo case, although not stemming from the direct players in that case specifically.

If Tucker Carlson has taught us anything, it's that we are incapable of having a position that is capable of being anything more than the polar opposite of its counterpart. What made the Schiavo case a disaster was neither the physical removal of her feeding tube nor the bitterly divisive relationship between the parents and husband. As much as I would enjoy blaming the disastrous nature of the affair on Tom DeLay and George W. Bush, I cannot explicitly delegate that blame to them, although their assault on the judicial branch of the government, which is partially a response to their struggles to maintain a strong political base, is a shocking attack on the balance of governmental power.

I could write extensively about the inundation of this story by the media, but that would tell a partial story, neglecting the fact that American media is controlled by a communication oligarchy, and ClearChannel Communications is the largest obstacle to actual topical debate. Before I begin typing angrily, I'll end this post abruptly, to allow you to balance the morality of the anti-democratic stance of the ClearChannel and the American media with other pressing moral questions of the day.